Good Intentions?

 

I grew up in a very rural environment in northwest Louisiana in the 1960’s through the 1970’s. Hard work wasn’t just expected; it was essential to our way of life. More than just working hard, though, we were expected to do the job right. My ears rang with the question, “If you don’t have time to do it right, do you have time to do it over?” In spite of my best efforts, though, I sometimes still didn’t get it right. I wanted to do the task right. I certainly didn’t want to do it over. My intentions were good but my actions didn’t always measure up.

It can be a real challenge to deal with a person who lacks the people skills to treat others properly; with kindness, patience, tenderness, and grace. It’s especially hard when you know that they know how to treat others; they just lack the skills to do so regularly. Often, such a person will respond that they certainly did not intend to mistreat someone when they are presented with concerns about their treatment. It can be frustrating for both the person bringing the matter up and for the person who lacks some basic skills. That person has good intentions, but their actions don’t always measure up.

These two scenarios both point out a very basic, yet important point in how we approach and treat others. Further, they provide a strong case for considering how we think about them.

An old axiom I learned as a child says, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It was a favorite quote for my dad. The point of the lesson is clear – intentions don’t bring the results if they aren’t accompanied by proper action. This is, indeed, a true and valid point. It is also incomplete.

Scripture tells us to “Judge not, that you be not judged.” (Matt 7:1) “Judge” may be better translated here as “condemn.” This is certainly a valuable principle. None of us would likely fare well under heavy scrutiny of our own behavior. It’s unwise, then, to criticize other people when we ourselves are weak.

But what is the proper approach to take? As always, looking to our perfect Savior, Jesus Christ, will guide us in the right direction. We should look to Him for our example and for guidance in how we should respond in any situation. So what would Jesus Christ do if someone snapped at Him? Would He blast them into non-existence? Would He immediately condemn them to the second death? Would He harshly tell them how poorly they were acting and inform them of the ultimate negative consequences of their behavior? What would Jesus do?

Scripture does give us some insight to how He would likely respond. When the woman caught in the act of adultery was brought to Him, Jesus knelt and wrote in the sand. We don’t know what He wrote or whether it was for the leaders’ benefit. The Master invited these men to stone the woman, as they sought to do, with the stoning to be started by the one of them that was without sin. The men were convicted by their own consciences. Jesus Christ then instructed the woman to go and sin no more. (John 8:3 – 11) There is no mention of harshness or condemnation in His response. Perhaps Jesus could discern a repentant attitude in the woman.

We can also read in scripture that God judges our heart and knows the intentions of our heart. It seems that He is actually most interested in our heart and our intentions (Heb 4:12). Could it be that He is confident that He can strengthen us against carnal weakness and really is most focused on our character and the intentions of our heart (James 4:10)? Certainly, we must be striving toward perfection in our actions as well as the cleansing and proper development of our character. If we are indeed pursuing Godly character, our intentions will be toward obeying God and behaving as He intends. But it seems clear that God, being merciful and full of grace, is willing to forgive us of our weaknesses as long as we are striving to obey and follow Him, repenting when we fall short, and seeking His righteousness as we long for His Kingdom.

If God, then, is so gracious and forgiving of wrong actions, how can we possibly justify any less accommodating treatment from ourselves and why would we expect God to treat us better than we treat others? I submit that we cannot. It is incumbent upon us to recognize, acknowledge, appreciate, and encourage good intentions in those with whom we relate – even when their actions don’t measure up to their intentions. This can be anyone from an acquaintance in our social or work environments to our spouse and immediate family members. We must not discourage others by judging them harshly and treating them with anything less than loving kindness. It is likely that they are experiencing a difficulty of which we are unaware. More importantly, treating them with mercy, kindness, and love will enhance our relationship with them and will build them up. Most importantly, God will judge us with the same level of mercy with which we have judged others (Matt 7:2).

I know that I have some real shortcomings in this area. It is because of my recognition of this truth that I have chosen to write this article. I hope that it will encourage others while helping me to focus on changes I need to make in myself with God’s help.