FOCUS THROUGH TRIALS

 I originally wrote this on July 9, 2020, as a Facebook post. I think it belongs in my blog.

FOCUS THROUGH TRIALS

 

Historically, I have been an avid writer on various topics. My preferred genre has always been my thoughts about improving relationships and declaring positive thoughts about relationships – mine and those I see. For quite some time, I have been silent. My silence has been primarily due to medical issues at home. Last year, in 2019, I finally had to deal with a shoulder injury I sustained in January 2017. That meant undergoing surgery for a torn labrum in my left shoulder. The shoulder had been giving me problems for the entire time, but, in 2018 and 2019, it became intolerable. I underwent the surgery and looked eagerly forward to healing and moving on with life. Two weeks after the labrum repair surgery, I was out walking around as instructed by my surgeon and slipped and fell on a muddy sidewalk. I was determined to not reinjure my left shoulder by falling on it, so I turned my body away from that side as I fell. I landed on my right shoulder, tearing the rotator cuff in two places! I had to continue treatment on the left shoulder until the end of July before surgery to repair the rotator cuff could be done. Then I began exercising to repair both shoulders. In mid to late September, my wife, Rebecca, felt an urge to have a mammogram done and did so immediately. On the last day of September, she was diagnosed with triple negative Invasive Ductal Cell Carcinoma, a very rare and aggressive form of breast cancer, in her left breast. Surgery was performed at the beginning of November when all necessary tests were completed. Chemotherapy began in December and quickly devolved into “complications.” In late December, Becky developed a DVT, a painful and potentially life-threatening blood clot, in her lower right leg. This caused substantial delay in continuing chemotherapy treatment. Indeed, her second round of chemo was a month later than it was originally scheduled, so it actually happened in the latter part of January. For either no reason or for reasons that have never been disclosed to us, the oncology practice that Becky had been working with up to that time decided to sever the relationship with Becky after her second chemo session. We learned of that decision right before her third session was due to occur and scurried to locate another provider. Thankfully, we did secure another oncologist and Becky completed her chemotherapy regimen. Several weeks later, Becky began radiation treatments as the final treatment regimen for her cancer. During the time Becky had her daily radiation treatments, I had to have total knee replacement (TKR) surgery for my left knee. The knee had been causing me serious difficulty for many years and finally became intolerable. My surgery was done and, a couple weeks later, physical therapy began. I am still going through PT and, of course, doing exercises at home. The aftermath of TKR is far more intense than I ever contemplated it would be. I believed I was reasonably prepared for it after my two shoulder surgeries; I was mistaken. I have faced physical limitations and pain beyond my contemplation. Oddly, there has also been significant mental and emotional disturbance about which I never heard or read. I am told this is “normal,” but it has been a very unpleasant surprise for me. My knee surgery was on May 18, 2020. On May 26, Becky was driving on I-45. Traffic came to a stop and she stopped appropriately. Unfortunately, the driver of the Ford F150 behind her did not stop. Instead, he plowed into her. I’ve learned that he had to be going 35 – 45 mph on impact. Becky has been to the ER and to doctors for evaluation since then. She has had 2 MRI studies and 1 EMG; a second EMG is scheduled next week. She is having symptoms that indicate nerve damage affecting her hands and feet. Treatment will commence when studies are complete. Since this all began approximately the beginning of April, 2019, it’s been a challenging experience for about 15 months – and it’s not over.

Why do I detail all this out here and now? I could do so just to update friends about happenings in my life since I last did any significant posts, but that would not actually hold any promise of benefit to anyone. There is a purpose with greater meaning. To reach that purpose, a bit more contemplation is necessary.

 

Every life has its difficulties. Trials that shape and develop us come and go. The critical point for us in any trial is not what the trial is, but how we respond to it; how we allow it to transform our lives – our character.

 

A tree that is producing excellent fruit and is in perfect health may not need tended. In our human lives, we aren’t likely to be such a tree. When a tree is pruned, it doesn’t generally immediately spring forth with fresh new growth. There must first be an adjustment to the pruning. Do we, as humans, react perfectly to trials with which we are faced immediately? Unfortunately, no. Have Becky and I responded perfectly to the circumstances that we’ve faced over the past 15 months? I can assure you that we have not. But we have run the course of analyzing the events that have transpired, evaluating our responses and comparing them to what we would like them to have been and modifying our perspectives to be better prepared for the next lessons we are given to develop our character. Our goal is to always be focused on God; on becoming like Him and following His instructions. We are learning to be content with whatever circumstance arises in our lives; counting on God to be faithful to His promises. That is the point of my writing today. I want to encourage every reader to stand boldly against whatever trials you face. Know that every trial is a tool to shape and mold your character and you can count on God to bring you through the storms of life. Learn to be content, knowing that God is in control and is working out His Plan for you.

 

Before I close this, I want to also take a moment to brag a bit and to express appreciation to Rebecca. This 15 month span of medical issues has brought to my mind many times the phrases in our marriage vows – “in good times and in difficult times” and “in sickness and in health.” Our experiences have cast each of us into the role of caretaker for the other – sometimes when we aren’t really ready to handle that role because of our own maladies. I think I am likely a difficult one to care for in this way because I am not at all accustomed to being the one needing the care. Becky has shown incredible patience and tenacity in helping me through my difficulties. Indeed, she continues doing so. I spend a large percentage of my time exhausted and unable to function normally. She is being so caring and giving in providing for my needs and wants and helping me to accept my limits right now instead of feeling so down about them. I really do appreciate all she’s doing. I hope I am giving her similar support. We’ve been together almost 36 years and I think strength of flexibility is becoming obvious. Thank you, God, and thank you, Rebecca, for all you’ve given for us.